Friday, August 24, 2012

Whistle while you work!

Not quite sleepy enough to get neutered yet.  We like to take pictures of cats when they're mostly drugged.
Ok, I've been back at work for two weeks now, and all told, it's going much better than I anticipated.  Every time someone asks me how it feels to be back and not have Reagan with me all day, I respond, "I'm just so lucky I really like my job."

And it's true.  Thank you Jesus.

There are several other things that get me through the work-hours without my sweet girl: first, the lovely people I work with (they smile and gush over the cell phone pictures of Reagan no matter how many times I show the same ones over and over again) and second, the ever-amusing clients I talk to daily.  Are you ready for some new work-related stories?  Oh good, 'cause I've got a couple for ya.

Sometimes, I like to pretend I'm a receptionist.  I know this bugs Tammy (our actual receptionist, who is amazing at her job), but I do it anyway.  I answer the phone and talk until someone asks me a question that I can't answer and then poorly explain the issue to Tammy, upon which, she graciously talks to the client and gets things settled like they should have been in the first place.  Maybe the most fun thing I do when I answer the phone is, when someone asks to speak to Dr. Tompkins, I say, "can I put you on hold for a moment while I go get her?"  It cracks me up every time.

Anyway, I answered the phone the other day and had this conversation:

Dr. T:  "Twin Oaks Vet, can I help you?"

Lady on the phone:  "Hi, is this the Alleghany Animal Shelter?"

Dr. T:  "No, this is the vet hospital, but we're associated with the shelter, can I help you with something?"

Lady on the phone:  "Well, I was watching this here Alleghany County Television Station, and I had a question about the show where they put on the pictures of the animals up for adoption."

Dr. T:  "Sure.  Were you interested in adopting one of the animals?"

Lady on the phone:  "No, honey.  I just wanted to know why on earth all these here dogs have a red 'kerchief around their neck.  Now, I'm 82 years old and I've had animals all my life and I have never felt like I needed to put a red 'kerchief around one of their necks.  Why on earth do you all do that?"

Dr. T:  "Well ma'am, the bandanas aren't on the dogs all the time, they just put them on for the pictures.  I guess some people think it's a cute thing to do."

Lady on the phone:  "Well I don't think it's cute, but that's just my opinion.  Of course, nobody asked for my opinion, but I just thought I'd tell it to you anyway.  Ok, that's all I wanted to know.  You have a nice day, honey.  'Bye."

Today, I answered the phone and got this one:

Dr. T:  "Twin Oaks Vet, can I help you?"

Elderly man (yelling into the phone):  "Is this Twin Oaks?!?"

Dr. T:  "Yessir.  Can I help you with something?"

Elderly man (yelling into the phone):  "Yes!  Well...first I have a question, then I'll tell you what my problem is."

Dr. T:  "Ok, what's your question?"

Elderly man (yelling into the phone):  "Where in the sam-hill is ya'lls phone number listed in this here phone book?!?"

Dr. T:  "Well, that depends.  Which phone book are you looking in?"

Elderly man (yelling into the phone):  "In this damn Alleghany County Phone Directory!  I've been looking for the dad-blamed phone number nigh thirty minutes!  When I didn't find it, I had to go search for one of my damn receipts from you all 'cause I couldn't find the number in the phone book!"

Dr. T (pulling out the phone book):  "Ok, lets see.  In the alphebetical listings, the number is there under 'Twin Oaks Veterinary Hospital' and in the business listing the number is under 'Veterinarians'."

Elderly man (yelling into the phone):  "What's that you say now?  What page are you on?"

Dr. T:  "Um, well, it's listed on page 49 and page 96."

Elderly man (quieter now):  "Well I'll be durned.  There it is.  Been there the whole time."

Dr. T:  "Yep.  Now, is there something else you needed?"

Elderly man:  "What?  Oh, yeah.  I need to make an appointment to board my cat.  Well, it's not my cat, I don't even like cats - it's my wife's cat."

Dr. T:  "Ok!  Tammy can help you with that, can you hold for a moment?"

PS.  I read this today.  Nearly peed my pants from laughing.  Read it, you'll be glad you did.

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