In the meantime, I feel like it's about time to play a rousing game of "What they say vs. what they mean" since it's been about a year since we've done that last, and incidentally, it feels like it's been about a year since I posted last. So, without further ado:
1. " Doc, I got this here rabbit dog, and I've been worming it with that there panasonic wormer you gave me for my other dog, but she's still got these short little worms comin' out." Supposed meaning for "panasonic wormer" - Panacur, which doesn't treat tapeworms, which is what that there rabbit dog was suffering from.
2. "Hey now, you think you could teach me how to do that pregnancy checkin' on my own cows? I really think I could palpitate if I knew what I's doin'." Supposed meaning for "palpitate" - palpate. As in, rectally palpate cattle.
3. "Oh, don't worry. My I'll pay my bill, I mean, I've known Mash forever and he said there's no problem with me charging that $200 to my account. I'll pay it here next month or the month after that when my disability check comes in. I'm on a fixed income, you know." Supposed meaning for "Mash" - Nash, as in our boss and the practice owner. Oh and Jessica loves the "I'm on a fixed income" excuse, since, as a general rule, everyone is on a fixed income - we all know much money we'll have from month to month, but it's up to you to figure out how to manage it, not our office manager.
4. "Yes ma'am. I've got a llama that is having difficulty breathing and I was wondering if you could see her tonight. I can bring her right in." Actual meaning for "bring her right in" - walk llama into a mini-van and drive 45 minutes up the mountain. If the makers of the Honda Odyssey only knew what their vehicles were capable of, they would be advertizing this mess. Not only that, but the transport occurred on New Year's Eve, and there was a traffic stop just outside Sparta as you came down the mountain to the clinic. I can only imagine what the good law enforcement officers of Alleghany Co. thought of 3 people and one llama comfortably seated in a minivan.