Monday, January 30, 2012

The internet makes me paranoid...

Everyone at work has been under the weather lately, out of sorts, etc., and I was terribly proud of myself and the little munchkin I carry around for not getting sick...

And then...I was on call this past weekend...and a doozy of a weekend it was, too. 

When I woke up yesterday morning, I had the creeping suspicion that something was not quite right.  By 3 o'clock, I felt like my enteric world was crashing around me and when I looked in the mirror, I saw this horrible looking shell of myself, complete with dark circles under my eyes, droopy hair and manure/blood plastered clothing.  Gross.  By 9:30pm I was sure that I wouldn't survive.  At ten, after 12 hours of work, I dragged myself through the house, hit the shower and then meekly and thankfully said hello to my pillow and lay next to my oblivious, sleeping, dear of a husband who had been out of town all weekend and who was out like a light before I even got home yesterday.

This morning, I knew.  I woke up, fed everyone, and promptly went back to bed.  As of right now, I have successfully eaten 12 saltine crackers and am shocked that little munchkin-head has had the energy to kick the tar out of my already unhappy intestines this morning.  After I get through with this, I'm going back to bed.

So, that was likely more information than you cared to know.  But all that background information was necessary because, I the only one who has strange dreams and thinks unusual, yet seemingly clear thoughts when she's sick?  I mean, don't things just dawn on you that you never imagined before when you're under the weather?

Ok, for instance.  I dreamed that instead of giving birth to a bouncing baby girl, I dreamed that I birthed six beagle puppies and quite enjoyed myself.  The delivery room was full of friends and family and I was playing scrabble the whole time I delivered, I think.  I remember saying to my mother, "what's the big deal about all this childbirth stuff?  They're so little, I didn't even feel a thing!"

I blame this dream on the c-section I had to do last night.

Ok, second for instance, how is it that the internet knows me so well?  I mean, I truly think the internet is stalking me - every time I get on Facebook, I see ads about maternity scrubs and babysitters.  When I'm looking through websites on Google, even on the computers at work there are websites that pop up and ads that say things like, "Did you remember to take your vitamins today?  Check out Walgreens..." and actually, no, I didn't remember to take my vitamins today.  Thank you, Google, for reminding me.

I don't really like it.  What happened to the simpler days, you know, back when the computer was mostly for playing Tetris and Solitaire and composing documents without having to use white out and typewriter tape?  For that matter, why do we feel the need to be accessible every moment of the day, have phones that not only allow people to find us when we do not want to be found, but email, text, tweet and God knows what else when we could be doing something more edifying - like reading a book or taking a nap?  I think the world was a lot more peaceful back when...back before the internet knew I was pregnant and had forgotten to take my prenatal vitamins.

However, my point is basically moot.  I am a glaring hypocrite for writing this blog while at the same time wishing I could throw all of my phones in the yard and allow them to become play toys for my overly-destructive dogs.  Not to mention, some good things come out of the internet, after all.  

At any rate.  I blame all this on being sick.  I'll less philosophical tomorrow, I promise...but that does not mean that I will answer my phone if I don't have to.

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