Friday, January 20, 2012

I know she understands me...

Happy Friday morning, friends.  I'm here, smelling my half-pot of decaf brew - the half-pot that I will probably decide I don't really want anymore after it's done brewing.  Maybe it's just the smell I like.  I don't know - do babies smell en utero?  I don't think so.  The baby book says I should be eating good-for-me things like bananas right now because homegirl is developing her sense of taste and she can taste the stuff I'm eating (weird) but so far the munchkin is only going to like clementines, ice cream and pasta.  I think I can accept this because in no way shape or form do I want a freaking banana.  Plus, she kicks more when I've just had some ice cream, so...double bonus.

Anyway, I had planned to be gone by now this morning on a mysterious shopping trip.  I still don't know what I intended to buy when I announced to ARay last night that I would be needing my car for the day.  When I think of it now, I envision things to purchase like:  a new car, a live-in maid/nanny (although I don't think you can find those in the mall), plane tickets to Venice, and the good green curry from the Thai restaurant 45 minutes away from here.  Ok, so only the curry is mildly attainable, which saddens me but oh well.  It's my day off.  Magical things happen on such an elusive day like a day off.  Today,  I could conceivably see unicorns romping around in the front yard with George and Bella (and Gidget, who is in much trouble after crapping on the carpet that I wish I had the maid to clean for me).  I could read Pride and Prejudice again cover to cover and it be just like the first time I ever read it.  See, I can dream unattainable dreams on a day like today and imagine that they could come true.  It's a delightful thing.

It makes me think of the people who dream unattainable dreams every day.  They think of them as reality, and I know this race of people because I take care of their animals.  They are the people who say things like:

"Oh, Sophie and I discussed her staying here tonight after her surgery is over.  She's ok with it, and I know because she blinked twice at me after our little talk.  That's her way of saying 'I understand.'"

"I'm not even going to worry about the surgery, Doc.  I know you can save Sugarplum.  I mean, yes, I know you just told me that she has a bleeding splenic mass and could die on the surgery table, but you're going to be successful in surgery because you have to.  There is no other option, because you understand that if Sugarplum does not live, I will not be able to live, and the thought of that will haunt you forever.  Or Sugarplum would haunt you forever.  Whichever."

"But Dr. T, the lump on kitty only popped up last night!  There's just no way it's an ulcerated malignant tumor!  You're crazy for saying it's probably been there for longer than I knew.  There has been a place on  her that started bleeding and smelling really bad for the past few months, but it was just a rash, not a tumor!  AND I have been putting burnt motor oil on it and bluecoat spray!  That's what my brother's uncle told me to do - he said it would cure her rash!" 

"What do you mean that cow has had a dead calf in her for three or four days???  I check my cows EVERY NIGHT, doc.  I would have KNOWN if she was in labor.  You're plum crazy wrong.  She wasn't supposed to have her calf until FEBRURARY anyway!  Don't tell me that I don't know what's goin' on with my cows."

"Cheeto is a BOY??  What do you mean Cheeto is a boy???  I told you, Cheeto is a GIRL.  I don't care if you went in to spay her and she had no uterus and it turned out that she had testicles instead.  Cheeto is the prettiest, lovie-est, sweetest little girl cat that ever lived!"


So I'm going to live like my clients today and believe that my cat understood me when I told him, for the millionth time, "Do NOT eat the fern!  It's toxic!  You're just going to puke it all up in five minutes anyway!"  instead of simply choosing self-preservation after I chucked a pen at him while he munched on the leaves and thus ran under the dining room table to hide. 


...and I'm going to believe that I could just walk onto the lot at a Jeep dealership and I could get a Rubicon for free.  Yep.  Unicorns in my front yard too.  I believe.

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