Friday, December 9, 2011

Dear Santa...

Since Thanksgiving, I've been feeling a sense of writer's block - all my creative juices have been expressly dedicated to coming up with just the right gift for everyone in my continually expanding family.  I made a few breakthroughs today and finally came up with fun gifts for my brothers-in-law (well, at least, I think they're fun), and as such, my mind feels at ease enough to share some of the things that have been making us all jolly over at the vet's office lately.

So, this is the first time in years that I've felt like writing a letter to Santa.  I can actually pinpoint the specific moment I stopped believing in the man, the legend - I was six, I had asked for a kitten for Christmas, and on Christmas morning, instead of finding a live furry bundle of joy in a box with a bow, I found instead an elaborately written letter from Mr. Claus that explained to me that he couldn't bring me a kitten for Christmas because my mother is allergic to cats and I didn't want to make her miserable, did I?

Hell, I was six.  I could have cared less if my mom was miserable.  I wanted a blessed cat.  Furthermore, if Santa was really real, he could have magicked away my mom's allergies and made us all happy.  Fifteen years later, I got myself a cat.  Thanks a lot, Santa.

Anyway, I've been more inclined to believe in the Jolly Fellow again since our local newspaper has carried on its tradition of publishing every child's Santa Letter in the newspaper this year.  This past week's edition featured a four-page spread of kids' wishes and exclamations of love for dear old Santa.  It put me in the spirit, AND it makes for hilarious down time at work.  Every few minutes, someone will grab the paper and say, "Here, here - listen to this one!" and read aloud.  Jessica even sat in on surgery the other day and read me Santa Letters while I was doing a leg amputation.  It made it way more fun.

We all thought you all would enjoy some of these gems.  Unfortunately I'm a week late and have only gotten Piney Creek's choice letters scanned, but if you want more, I'll post some next week.

These made it into our top eight - You know what, Ava?  I like watermelon and pizza too.  I hope you get your cantaloupe for Christmas.  Oh and Madison, if you get your McDonald's Drive Thru, please put it in town so we can raise our fast food restaurant count to three an I can start having McFlurries again. 
All the kids that asked for a pet for Christmas.  We should have run an ad for the Animal Shelter right under the Santa Letters.

In closing, I'm going to post my Santa Letter for all yall's viewing pleasure.  My premise is that the Man can make any wish come true, so I'm aiming high, folks.


Dear Santa,


I think I'll forgive you for the kitten incident of 1989.  I mean, I guess since you managed to send me another little brother five days after Christmas that year and eventually, I grew to like him, it's ok.  This year though, I'm really hoping you come through.  


1.  Please make Aaron Ray learn to love Gidget as much as I do.  I really want her to live with us forever, and she's much cuter now that she grew some hair.  Here are some pictures for you to see.  I know you'll agree with me.


2.  I want a couple million dollars.  I promise I'll share.

3.  I want you to bring Aaron Ray something for Christmas and say that it's from me because I have no idea what to get him and he won't tell me what he wants.

4.  Please bring this little munchkin whatever he or she wants for Christmas whenever he or she is old enough to write you letters.  Nintendos and ipods and phones and all those other toys that kids seem to want are expensive, so it would really help me out if you could just take care of all that.  He or she will be six and half months old for Christmas 2012, so you can get started on making his or her gifts now if you want. 


Love,


Michelle