Today was a typical Monday. As usual, one (or more) of our clients asked incredulously, "Is it like this every day, or is it just a Monday thing?" These days, I answer with a smile and say, "Who knows." I think it's safe to say that our vet hospital may be the busiest on the planet.
This particular day followed the pattern of most Mondays, except that almost every client I saw had his/her/their own interesting diagnosis for their pet before I even got a chance to look at their animal. If I had just left the diagnosing up to them, I would have had to think a lot less, but most everything I saw would have gone home sicker than when it came in.
Client 1: "My dog is really sick. He hollers every time I pick him up. I think he's bloated and probably constipated. I'm pretty sure he's got something stuck in his intestinals somewhere."
Dr. T's diagnosis: back injury
Client 2: "My dog is poisoned. He started vomiting last night and I just know my neighbor poisoned him."
Dr. T's diagnosis: pancreatitis
Client 3: "I think my cat is trying to pass a kidney stone."
Dr. T's diagnosis: urinary tract infection
Client 4: "I'm pretty sure my cat is pregnant, and it must be making her have allergies or something. She keeps sneezing."
Dr. T's diagnosis: Not pregnant. Upper respiratory infection.
Client 5: "My cat does not have fleas. But he keeps pulling out his hair around his sides, the backs of his legs and he's got dirt that looks like pepper flakes all over."
Dr. T's diagnosis: Flea allergy dermatitis
Client 6: "I have this heifer that went blind yesterday. Do you think something knocked her in the head?"
Dr. T's diagnosis: Lead poisoning
Client 7: "My wife says her dog is limping. I think he's just being lazy."
Dr. T's diagnosis: Cranial cruciate rupture