Thursday, June 30, 2011

"Can I have that? Pleeeeezeeee?"

I realized something just a few minutes ago.  One of the classic "get down to the client's level" things I do is narrate my patient's "thoughts".  When I'm about to do something invasive to a patient and I can see the owner tense up and get nervous, I start cracking jokes about what the dog/cat/hampster/chicken/whatever is probably thinking (besides "HOLY S***!!").  Today, I narrated my own dogs' thoughts for my husband.

It's starting to go too far.

The unfortunate thing I have also realized, however, is that it's too late to stop it.  My bedside manner has matured over this past year of practice, and there is no hope for me anymore.  I baby-talk the puppies, I sympathize with my sick patients and I praise dogs and cats for being brave during routine appointments.  It's like I'm a pediatrician. 

I've been practicing all these techniques since I've been back at work this week, and so far, the only thing keeping my "animal baby talk" in check, is that it's been pretty busy.  I can't seem to understand why business is so much brisker in the summertime, but it is.  "What's the big deal about being busy in the summertime?" you might be asking yourself.   Well, I tell you.  When I get home from a long day at work on these long, hot days, instead of cracking open a bottle of red wine, I turn to my husband for the supreme relax-at-the-end-of-a-long-day-fix...

Get ready for this, ladies and gentlemen...

Yes that's right.  I married the ice cream man.  In our possession, at this very moment, are forty-one half gallons of Homeland Creamery ice cream.


Obviously, the chocolate reeses cup ice cream is my favorite. 

And obviously, I will weigh about a thousand pounds by the end of the summer.

I'm trying to quit.  I really am.  I'm trying to pretend it's not even down in that huuuuuge freezer in our basement...but I have a confession...yesterday, while my dear, sweet ARay was taking a nap on the couch, I started to sneak downstairs to get some of that dairy goodness...and I got caught red-handed.  I immediately felt like a three year old with chocolate (ice cream) all over her face.

I have not had any ice cream today.  The shame is an excellent diet plan.

Fred and Norman live at our house now, outside, under the shady trees.  They call out for their mama and he comes arunnin'.  It is just the sweetest thing.


  1. Holy moly! That would be a complete epic fail for my willpower. Man oh man oh man...

  2. I think the animal baby talk is something animal people just do. Not sure why we do it but I'm right there with you with Petals and Zuzu, we have quite the conversation! I have never tried this brand but if it's anything like the name, I would be in trouble too.

    Glad you are back at work and feeling better. Love you and take good care of each other and the "rest" of the gang.