Friday, May 6, 2011

It's that time again!

Tonight, I have pulled out every semi-decent outfit I have to my name (Aaron Ray warily watched me do this from the bed...I wonder if he counted how many trips I made from the closet to the master bath, and then into the guest bath because the mirror is longer).  I have painted my toenails and fingernails (looks like a three year old did it) because there's no nail salon in town.  Unfortunately, I forgot how painstaking the painting-of-the-nails process is for me...which means I didn't block out enough time to do it, and now I'm stuck with them, no matter how crappy...

All because:

This adorable girl is getting freaking MARRIED on Saturday!(!!!)

OH my goodness.

I can hardly believe it.

I have been looking forward to this event since forever, but especially since about six days ago, when I was on call in Alleghany Co.; dreaming about Mecklenburg Co. and all the festivities I will be part of.  Each day, the desire to make the jaunt down I-77 got stronger and stronger as the clients I talked with got more and more...entertaining....yes, that's a good word.

Exhibit A:

Emergency phone call:  "Um, I have a question.  My puppy just dug up some rats that my neighbor poisoned and ate them.  What do I do?"

Dr. Tompkins answer:  "Well, you need to make him puke.  Give him an ounce of hydrogen peroxide."

Client on the phone: "Ok.  How many times can I give it?  I mean, how will I know when to stop giving him peroxide?"

Dr. Tompkins answer: "Um...(long pause)...when he throws up the rats.  You should bury them deeper next time."

Exhibit B:

Client on the phone:  "Will you help me with something?"

Dr. Tompkins:  "Well sure, what can I do for you?"

Client on the phone:  "Ok, well my neighbor bred his PitBull to a Wolf-mix dog.  So, that would make the puppies 50 percent Pitbull, like, um, 25 percent wolf, and like...um...33 percent something else, right?"

Dr. Tompkins:  "Well, not exactly, but go ahead."

Client on the phone:  "Um, well, do you think there are any like, concerns with having a puppy from that litter?"

Dr. Tompkins:  "Actually, yes.  I have some real concerns about puppies from that litter."

Client on the phone:  "Oh, ok.  Well, so you think it's a bad idea to breed a Pitbull and a Wolf-mix?"

Dr. Tompkins:  "Um.  Yes.  I'm worried about the aggressive tendencies of having a dog like that.  Other people would be too; for instance, you will never get homeowners insurance owning a dog like that"

Client on the phone:  "Oh, that's ok.  I don't have insurance anyway.  I live in my aunt's brother's cousin's boyfriend's niece's house, and they don't care."

Exhibit C:

Doughnuts?


Nooo.   Don't be silly Dr. T:


Baby 'possum!

Yes, Megan (best receptionist in the world) took baby 'possum to the "'Possum Lady" who rehabilitates opossums.  I had no idea anyone would be even remotely interested in such a hobby.  Apparently, I should have just assumed.

With that, I'm off to bed so I can get up early and make the drive I know so well!  Helloooooo Queen City!!

3 comments:

  1. can't wait to see you soon!!!

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  2. I'll take you to the nail salon in Sparta. There is one!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my goodness! I hope Toby never eats poisoned rats!!

    ReplyDelete