Monday, March 7, 2011

This little piggy cried "wee, wee, wee!" all the way home.

Spring.  It's a time of renewal, warmth, and re-birth.  New life is everywhere - you can hear it in the trees as the new hatchlings chirp their way into our hearts, you can see it in the eyes of new mothers, and, at the Tompkins' household, you can find it both in the basement and the den.

Before I explain what I mean, let me tell you a short story.

This past November, when Aaron Ray announced that he had gotten me an early birthday present, I was instantly wary.  When he gleefully went on to tell me that my gift was a pig, I was concerned, because to me, pigs look like this:

 ...And I knew that, to Aaron Ray, a pig is not a pig (see cute picture above), it is a hog.  And hogs look like this:

This is Daffodil, "my" birthday pig.
Daffodil, the hog, therefore, joined our crew in the barn at the farm that Aaron Ray rents.  Thankfully, I thought no more about her after that, because, well...I don't "do" pigs.  That is, until a cold, wintry night after Thanksgiving, when Daffodil went into labor and was having trouble.  It was my evening off (of course) when Aaron Ray called me, concerned, and asked that I rush down the mountain and see to Daffodil.  Now, Daffodil did not understand that I was trying to help her - she bit and butted and generally embodied all the reasons why obstetrical work in a hog is difficult.  That night, I was convinced that Daffodil was not only decidedly not a gift, but rather, a chore.  Unfortunately (or fortunately, I'm not sure), Daffodil's babies did not make it, and Daffodil's career as a mother came to an abrupt end.  As a matter of fact...

She became supper.

As you can see by the expression on my face, I happily thought the ordeal with the pigs was over.  Clearly, the "pig plan of 2010" was a fiasco...right?  Well, as it turns out, my resourceful husband had other ideas.  He proceeded to gain possession of another hog...who birthed nine babies, unassisted, last week.  Unfortunately, she has very little interest in five of her babies...and therefore....

Aaron Ray has become a proud mama of seven.

"Just one minute!", you might be thinking to yourself.  "Didn't she just say FIVE baby pigs?"  Oh yes, my friends, I did.  But this only accounts for the "new life" in the basement (where I can still hear them squealing, by the way).  There are two altogether different babies upstairs, in the den...whom I can hear bleating and tapping their little hooved feet all over my clean floors as Aaron Ray attempts to corral them and feed them their supper....

Meet Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.  At least they're not sheep.  

Now, you also may be thinking to yourself, "Come on, Michelle.  Don't they pull at your little maternal heartstrings, just a little?  Aren't they CUTE!?"  And to that I, invariably some (or all) of them will get sick, and then I will become the family doctor.  To Aaron Ray's credit, he has asked for no help in these endeavors yet (mostly I think because he's not sure if he's in the dog house about all these farm animals being the house or not...and to be honest, I'm not sure yet either - although I definitely wish we had a barn right about now), and has attempted all veterinary work on his own before asking me for any help (or medications).  I appreciate this, but time will tell how it all pans out.


  1. MICHELLE!!! I WAS JUST TELLING BRIAN THIS EVENING THAT I REALLY WANT A GOAT (OR TWO)! and that i didn't want the goat to be alone so if we just got one goat, we should get a pot-belly pig too! i'm not even kidding! i want them so i can feed them our "slop" (i hate throwing away food, even if it's old) and keep the grass trimmed!!! plus, goats have climbing skills that make me laugh.

    but seriously. i want a goat. i want a house with a yard first. and the goats will not live inside that house with me (bless your country heart). ...would you be my goat's doctor if we live close enough to you? ;)

  2. Becca. Of COURSE I would! I wish, however, that you would come over and take ours home. They're really not THAT much of a mess (about like having a bunny, I think :))!

  3. I am cracking up. Too funny!! Can't wait to see you this weekend!!

  4. Michelle, While I have always been so proud of you for doing the vet thing I also always wondered why you didn't go into something with writting because you are SOOOO amazing. (Remember your Schaeffer that was like a book...) Anyway, so excited that you found a way to put them together. I ALWAYS look forward to reading! love you!

  5. oh my goodness! hilarious! you live in a crazy house!!! :)